Smiling Hearts
Nancy Jasper, the lead flight attendant on Pan Fran flight 2013 to Hong Kong was accustomed to dealing with surprise. Staying calm and cool were her trademarks. The other members of the crew would always defer to Nancy on the best way to handle unexpected circumstances that would occur on the long flight between New York and Hong Kong.
"Yes, I understand Mr. Scoville," Nancy assured her passenger. Justin Scoville was an elite member of the Pan Fran International Club. "Of course we know you make this trip on a regular basis," the lead hostess continued. "It's just that Bai Ling Johnson happens to be on this flight. So after you paged me to confirm the meeting upon our arrival with Ms. Johnson, I'm trying to explain that it won't be necessary."
"She's on this flight? Today? She's on this plane?," Justin struggled to believe what he was hearing.
"Yes Mr. Scoville, she's in 2A," Nancy informed him.
Bai Ling seemed to be anything other than the assistant Derby had seen for the first time above the laundry, who had welcomed him and young Opie and two intriguing rodents. That Bai Ling seemed to be a "granddaughter" type to an imposing Umpa, the smiling Buddha.
The Bai Ling Johnson in seat 2A on Pan Fran flight 2013 to Hong Kong was a business woman, focussed on the work she was processing on her laptop. The tray, and refreshments and pillow and everything else which surrounded her seemed to be organized as part of her traveling office, situated as each parcel was next to her brief case, books and other essential tools of a busy traveling executive.
When Nancy Jasper whispered to her a detail about another passenger requesting to speak to her, Bai Ling stopped without the least agitation and looked at the head flight attendant.
"Yes Ms. Jasper. Thank you," said Bai Ling with precise formality and courtesy. "I've enjoyed observing him since we left New York. Would you mind inviting Mr. Scoville to join me back in coach in seats 64D and E? They're vacant but we've purchased them both. I'll explain to him once we're rearranged why it is necessary to have our meeting there instead of in our first class cabin."
The staff and crew of Pan Fran Airlines are trained and "groomed" on handling seating arrangements and circumstances which call for discreet protocol. Nancy Jasper, more than the rest of the crew, was familiar with unusual requests from her extravagant and, often times, powerful and eccentric clientele.
But a demand by a passenger in first class for a total "sweep" of the rear cabin required that she notify the captain immediately.
"Yes Captain," said a calm and collected Nancy Jasper to the ranking officer of flight 2013, who was himself seated at the Number One Pilot position in the cockpit. "Mr. Scoville (our Vernon Scoville from New York) has requested a total sweep of Cabin Five because another passenger, Bai Ling Johnson (2A) has purchased two seats in the rear to be able to meet privately, but in coach, with Mr. Scoville."
Nancy's eyes focussed on the bumbling fingers of another flight attendant who was having difficulty with the coffee maker in the forward galley. She listened to a conversation of another passenger speaking to a stranger near the restroom adjacent and aft to the galley. She made a mental note that in three minutes it was time to take the warming cloths from the steamer.
After receiving the instructions from the Captain, she efficiently hung up the receiver, politely demonstrated the lever on the coffee maker for the other attendant, corrected the passenger about the arrival time which seemed to relieve the stranger who had shown alarm and disengaged the beeper on the steamer which would have sounded in 22 seconds, had she not done so.
"Mr. Scoville," greeted Nancy, without showing any sign of anxiety. "The Captain has requested your presence in the cockpit. I didn't know you were certified as a commercial pilot. I'll be happy to escort you to the bow when you're ready sir."
"Damnit Justin," argued Captain "Ronnie" Rollo, as if he were addressing his first mate. "We can't turn this ship upside down because you have a heart-on for a skirt in first class, who happened to buy two seats in coach! Just turn her down! Explain that you prefer to meet where you're seated or on port side near her, or in the galley or after we land!"
"Ronnie," explained Scoville, who seemed to be talking to his younger brother. "Man, I've got a feeling about this chic. This is weird. When I looked over at her, I swear I heard her plain as day, as if she was sitting next to me!"
Captain Rollo switched the controller to auto pilot and gestured to the first mate to assume the Number One position. Justin continued:
"She didn't move her lips but I heard her say...Umpa is expecting you. We will initiate you in the Tao! Now what the fuck is all that about! And you better get whoever you need on the blow horn and find out who the fuck is in 2A and what the hell is going on here. I suggest you tear Cabin 5 apart. I don't have a good feeling about this!"
Captain Rollo wasn't wet behind the ears. Scoville may think that he's got a little brother flying this puppy, but Ronnie Rollo knows every inch of every Airbus 380-800 in the air or on the ground. He also knows how disruptive it would be to "sweep" an entire cabin mid-flight.
"Not going to happen Justin. Please don't press this," Rollo chose his words carefully. "We appreciate your business and you know how much I respect you personally and admire you as a friend, but I have to say Negative on this one. Find another way to meet with that bitch. We've got a community of 743 passengers and a crew of 42. If you don't mind, I'd like all 785 of us to land with big smiles on our faces while we keep the drama to a minimum."
When Ronnie Rollo heard a voice in his headset, he nonchalantly raised the left ear piece to hear the transmission more clearly. Justin Scoville could see the color go out of his friend's face when he watched the captain listen to the voice say, "Feel under your seat and remove the document taped there."
"What is it?," Scoville asked as he watched the captain mechanically unstrap a folded paper from his seat and unfold it to read what it said.
"It's a CLEAN report," said the captain with a shocked look on his face, unable to hide his disbelief of what he was looking at.
"What the fuck is a clean report," asked Justin Scoville, who was showing signs of nerves he wasn't familiar with.
"A manifest and high security background check on all 115 passengers in Cabin Five. I can tell you every relative and every arrest and every fucking ear ache of every cock sucker sitting back there. I can also tell you the life-cycle of every piece of furniture and every fabric maker and every time someone puked on one of those fucking seat cushions. I've never seen one as complete and would have called you a liar if you would have told me that such a report is even possible to compile."
"Let me see that mother fucker," said Scoville, nearly shaking at this point.
Turning the pages like they displayed a roster of future winners at a horse track, Scoville sped through them and back over it two more times before asking, "well how in the hell could we know if it is genuine?"
"The algorithm on the top left," replied the captain, with the same distant glazed look he had since hearing the voice on the headset. "Coded by my commander on the morning of our take-off. Impossible that it hasn't been verified. No one knows that code. We get them in briefing the day before each flight."
"Who talked to you on the headset?," asked Scoville, visibly disturbed and feeling vulnerable and out of control, not accustomed to having his ass handed to him by someone more powerful.
"Said his name was Umpa. Assured me that all the passengers and crew would be smiling with happy hearts when we arrive in Hong Kong.
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