Chapter Twenty Five. And you'll find out...right after the break!

And you'll find out...right after the break!

Back at Umpa's Lair, Derby expressed his demands.

"First things first," he said after he landed and Jeninqua had climbed off his beast.

"I'm ready to go back to just little ole' me, if you don't mind," requested Derby firmly. "And Jeninqua quit stroaking that thing. It is hard to concentrate!"

"Well I'm just petting it," said Jeninqua apologetically as she scratched the chin of the dragon, who almost seemed to be purring. "I think he's cute!"

"Well stop it! Please," demanded Derby. "Enough is enough! And Umpa, would you mind regaining your title of Red Dragon so my own little lizard will fit back in my britches!" As the night wore on Derby seemed to be losing his sense of humor and good nature.

The dragon himself seemed to be in some sort of half-way state between a full fledged being and a confused pet connected to a person, like the front end of a Pegasus. Presently he was looking back at Derby like, "What next boss?"

"And you!," said Derby to the dragon. "Stop looking at me like that. It has been a pleasure flying with you but I've got to take a pee and the thought of using you in that way is not something I want to dwell on!"

"Jeninqua!," said Umpa, like a grandfather to a cherished granddaughter, "where are your manners? Feed the dragon!"

Jeninqua rounded the corner around the dragon with her hands on its neck like a female jockey handling a champion thoroughbred. The dragon's head seemed to swell with a huge smile, and with one powerful lunge of its mouth it swallowed her!

As the dragon raised its head to digest Derby's fantasy lady, like a snake swallowing a mouse, Derby's mouth fell open. "Now this is too weird! I've got a dragon for a d...(never mind), but anyway, my new middle leg just ate my girlfriend!," said Derby confused and frustrated.

"Umpa please. No more bizarre stunts. Dragon, you spit her out this minute!," exclaimed Derby, not knowing if he was going or coming.

"He can't spit her out," exclaimed Umpa. "Besides that, you're in control of your dragon, you just need to learn how to control your muscles!"

Suddenly Derby noticed he had an irresistable urge to cough and as he thought he was going to, he felt his dragon recoil as if it were a whip and he was going to snap it.

"Phew," blew the dragon. A speeding missile or blob of something shot out the end of the dragon. Bewildered, Derby tried to follow the bouncing object as it ricocheted off of trees and rocks. When it had come full circle and landed at his feet, Derby found he was staring down at a black marble. He also discovered he was no longer endowed like Quasimoto on Viagra, but was standing comfortably in his pants.

"I don't know whether to say excuse me or thank you or ouch or whoopie," confessed Derby, "but I'm glad..." and he stopped to hold open his trousers to sneak a peak, "yes...I'm glad my Chief of Staff has fallen back in formation and I can once again suffer the jokes about my little hands!"

After a few minutes of silence and a curious look from Umpa, Derby popped the question, "Where is Jeninqua?"

"Its complicated," began Umpa. He took a deep breath, and right after a message from our sponsor, dear reader, you'll learn what else he had to say about that.