Chapter Twenty Two. Flight of Fancy

Flight of Fancy

Back in the dungeon, the Scontandia were flabbergasted by the disappearance of Derby and Jeninqua.

"How have you let them escape?," questioned the chief to the head fighter of Jade.

"We've done nothing Lord," replied the black enrobed Ninja. "There was...there is no exit. It is impossible."


"Had you been careful with her skin? If the slightest rip...even a small cut perhaps, and a wormhole can open. Yes," continued the chief, who seemed to be the creeping embodiment of evil, as he stooped and picked up the white marble, "they're in another world now."


In Umpa's Lair Derby stared at the black marble in the hand of the questioning Buddha. He sensed Jeninqua's presence but he was confused.


"Ah, the black marble!," exclaimed Derby. "You don't happen to have a white mouse in your pocket do you?"


This brought a wide smile to Umpa. "And why do you ask about a rodent? Don't you know that a black marble in the hand is worth two mice in the bush?"


As Umpa continued to tease Derby with riddles, he opened his other hand, which Derby perceived as empty. The fat man leaned into the empty hand and blew a soft breath across it and up into Derby's face.


To Derby it felt as if a gentle and subtle energy sprinkled over him and then he felt the soft touch on his shoulder of a familiar hand. From behind him he heard Jeninqua ask, "Miss me?"


Derby was filled with happiness. Excited, he turned to lay eyes on the mysterious woman who had strangely come to occupy so much space in his mind. She had returned to health and was dressed simply in a hand sewn frock, accented with ribbons. She had a fresh bouquet of white and lavendar to pale-blue flowers in her hair, held in place by her left ear.


As our adventure bound hero swallowed her whole with his measure, it was her smile which utterly rendered him helpless. She seemed to be the picture of innocence and purity. 


"Jeninqua," said Derby excitedly. "You're here!"


"Is she?," interrupted Umpa, again seeming to be holding a secret he wanted to share.


"Of course she is Rabbi!," said Derby to his adopted teacher of the wood. "She's here in the flesh!"


"Interesting that you mention flesh, Ripley my boy," continued the host of the glenn. "Speaking of flesh--have you noticed how your own skin fits you so well?"

"More riddles?," asked Derby, determined not to let the moment of the happy reunion be tarnished by a complicated math lesson.

"Derby," prompted Umpa. "When Howard the driver brought you to the square...What had he explained  was the celebration?"

"He said it was the Festival of the Red Dragon," answered Derby easily.

"Yes," confirmed the smiling teacher. "And what was the theme of the costumes and decorations? Wasn't it all to celebrate the Red Dragon?"

"Why yes it was!," agreed Derby, "and Opie said YOU are the Red Dragon Umpa!" With this Derby seemed intrigued by the new line of questions. "Are you?"


"Am I what?," asked Umpa.


"The RED DRAGON!," exclaimed Derby.


With that, at a speed which surprised Derby, Umpa flipped the black marble into Derby's mouth. It seemed to chip his tooth going in, in the reverse of how he remembered it felt when originally Fredalnte had coaxed the black marble out of him with the swift punch to his stomach, back in the Peninsula Hotel.


Unable to stop it from finding its way to his gut, Derby swallowed and felt the smooth black ball descend his throat. It seemed to land with a splash in the general area of his belly. He gulped and suddenly there erupted a slight explosion as if baking soda had been added to vinegar.


"Hey!," protested Derby. "Can't we just enjoy this chapter without more shenanigans?," he asked, as if he was writing a story as he went along.


But poor Derby wasn't able to wax philosophical for long because a new disturbance was getting his attention in his pants. It felt as if someone had put a monkey or a cat in his underwear. And the animal wanted out!


Slightly embarrassed to do so in front of Jeninqua, but feeling as if he had no choice, Derby pulled down his britches to see what in the world had landed in his sexual region.


Totally out of his control, but oddly connected to him, a scaly red dragon came bursting out of his pants.


"My God man," shouted Derby to Umpa. "What have you done to me now?!!!"


The appendage seemed to be growing and was attached to our bewildered victim, where he once had a much smaller organ.


"Holy Shit, it's my d....," started Derby, surprised, before being interrupted again by the Wizard of Oats.


"Hope you enjoy the ride," is all Umpa said.


And before he could attempt to put his new package back in his trunk, the snapping, slinking red dragon, which seemed to have a mind of its own, was pulling Derby along. Even though he tried to plant his heels to stop it, the dragon took flight with poor Derby dangling like the tail of a kite.


Swooping, soaring, plunging and soaring some more, Derby had a new appreciation for that old Peter Dragon story. Flailing his arms and legs helplessly behind, our hero was now the co-pilot to a junior associate, formerly known as penis.